She Said - Background Checks

  it's private  


If a couple has become engaged or are considering it, I am wholeheartedly for background checks. Forewarned IS forearmed. *BUT*!!! 

To run a background check on someone based on the concept that they may someday ask for money is a big warning flare for me. First I want to state: Dating is NOT a cash transaction. If it is, get rid of it. It’s based on the wrong concept of dating. If you feel that person is using you for money, don’t give them any. You’ll see them dry up and blow away IMMEDIATELY

Allow me to share a well intentioned conversation where a person who wanted to date me exclusively admitted he ran a background check on me. I felt snooped. You know what else? It told me that this person didn’t have a lot of trust in me and that no matter what my actions or character is… this person will ALWAYS need to quantify… verify. He found no criminal activity but left me with a hint of concern about what else may seem perfectly reasonable later.. 

If you cannot show a bit of faith in the beginning of a relationship, don’t worry about the later, there won’t BE a later. 

Here’s another concept, if you really do want to help someone out financially, do it once. If they do not repay you.. never again. Do you really think a background check is going to absolutely protect you? Does the absence of a record mean that they will always pay you back? I think not. 

Here’s my thoughts on available technology.. Just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should. It’s creepy, and a big turnoff.